Disquiet

 

Disquiet

 

Solar storms and stomachaches

feeding anxiety, encouraging mistakes.

Drawing anger out, shoveling worry in

 

every night’s sleep seems to wake

as soon as it begins. Drenched in sweat,

I am boiled awake hours away

 

from a lucid state. My eyes snap open,

I hurl my covers aside and fumble

for my phone to check the time.

 

The unnatural blaze of cellular light

that we now completely accept

as just a part of our life informs me

 

that it’s three in the morning –

Why am I awake?!

As usual, checking the phone was a mistake.

 

The luminescent rabbit hole that tempts

to trivial and text as we numbly type

and swipe to the next and the next.

 

I didn’t have to look.  What difference did it make?

I still wish I was sleeping and I’m still awake.

But these days, who still lies still in sleeplessness’s dark embrace?

 

Who doesn’t reach for their personal distraction database?

How have we arrived in this place where our eyes thirst

for screens and our hands  are constantly occupied

 

by gleaming machines? This desire for answers

sooner than instantly, before immediately and

quicker than now has left us less able

 

to comprehend somehow that our addiction

to knowing may not be as intelligent as it seems

as ideas give way to updates and devices replace dreams.

 

All Text Copyright 2020 – Adrienne S. Wallner/Jaeger